The main switchboard for St. Mary’s Hospital Portsmouth is 023 9228 6000. Write it down. Stick it on your fridge. Save it in your phone under “Emergency – Not 999.” Because 999 is for life-or-death emergencies—St. Mary’s number is for the “I’m not dying, but I really need to talk to a nurse” moments.
Think of it as the secret hotline for the awkward middle ground. For example: you’ve got a rash that looks like a map of Australia. It’s not an ambulance situation, but the GP can’t see you until next Tuesday. Dial that number. They’ll triage you, tell you if you need to come in, or calm you down with a real human voice.
Another time, my friend’s toddler swallowed a Lego brick. (Yes, the small red one.) She was on the verge of tears. A quick call to St. Mary’s—023 9228 6000—and a lovely nurse said, “He’ll be fine, just check his nappy tomorrow.” Saved her a trip, and the Lego passed without drama. Who knew a phone number could bring such peace of mind?
Things only people of a certain age will say or have done in Portsmouth
Why you should care (even if you feel fine right now)
Life is like a box of chocolate—except sometimes you bite into one and realize it’s filled with wasabi. You don’t plan for a sprained ankle at 2 a.m., or a sudden case of “what is this weird lump?” But when those wasabi moments hit, knowing where to call is half the battle.
St. Mary’s isn’t just a building with beeping machines. It’s people—nurses, receptionists, and paramedics—who are there to catch you when you stumble. Their phone number is your bridge to them. And bridges are useless if you don’t know where they start.
I keep the number on a Post-it note inside my kitchen cabinet, right next to the emergency chocolate stash. (Don’t judge.) That way, when I’m patching up a paper cut or my partner’s having a weird allergic reaction to shrimp, I don’t have to wade through a sea of search results. I just reach, dial, and breathe.
