When you wave hello, you probably just flap your hand like a goose. A royal wave is a precise, slow rotation of the wrist, like you’re trying to unscrew a jar from twenty feet away. It’s a skill they practice. Imagine being a kid and your dad says, “No, no, you’re waving too fast. You look frantic. Do the ‘gentle windshield wiper’ motion.” You’d miss recess for wave practice.
And there’s a secret hierarchy to greeting. You don’t just hug the King. You curtsy, bow, or, in some cases, back away slowly so you don’t accidentally show him your backside. It’s the opposite of a casual “sup, dude?”. It’s more like, “I formally acknowledge your existence from three meters away, Sir.”
African royal family portrait with crowns, gold jewelry, and
The Wardrobe Rules: No Flip-Flops, Ever
Your closet has a “maybe” pile for jeans that are slightly ripped. A royal’s closet is a museum with dress codes for different hours of the day. There’s a morning outfit, a lunch outfit, and an evening tiara outfit. You can’t just throw on a hoodie if you’re feeling lazy. If you’re a crown prince, “lazy” means wearing a jacket without a tie.
Once, I wore sweatpants to the grocery store. A royal would need a state decree to do that. And hats? Hats are for outerwear, not indoor wear. My grandma said that too, but she meant at church, not at a state dinner. It’s basically your grandmother’s etiquette handbook, but it’s the law.
