Hyde Park is basically a canine red carpet. Today, you will see a bulldog wearing a tiny raincoat, a greyhound that looks like it missed the last train home, and at least one poodle giving you side-eye that says, “I judge your outfit.” Dogs rule this park. Humans are just weird apes holding poo bags.
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Pro tip: if you sit on a bench near the Rose Garden, you’ll soon be sniffed by every Labrador within a mile. They are not interested in you. They are checking your pockets for biscuits. Fair enough.
The Sloth of the Park
Now for the weird bit: there are actual bats living in Hyde Park’s trees. No, they’re not vampires. They’re pipistrelles, and they sleep upside down in the hollows of ancient oaks. You won’t see them today because they’re lazy, hungover from last night’s insect binge. But knowing they’re there, hanging out like tiny winged teenagers—that’s the kind of fact you can drop at dinner to seem mysterious.
