Standing on the curb, the parade feels both too short and too long. For the first ten minutes, you’re buzzing, filming with a shaky phone, and screaming “YA GUNNERS!” But after 45 minutes of seeing the same bus go past—and realising you’re about 200 people deep—your lower back starts to remind you that you’re not 22 anymore.
It’s a lot like waiting for a delayed train: you’re excited, then bored, then suddenly it’s over and you’re left standing in a puddle of spilled lager. The actual bus passes you in about 30 seconds, which is the same amount of time it takes to decide if you want fries with that burger. You blink, and it’s gone.
Arsenal Crowned Premier League Champions: The Curse Is Finally Over
Pro tip: If you’re short, don’t bother. You’ll see nothing but the back of a tall bloke’s head who smells like a kebab shop. Instead, save your energy and watch the live stream from your sofa, where the snacks are cheaper and the bathroom is close.
The “Aftermath”: When the Party Moves Indoors
Once the bus disappears, the real fun begins—not on the streets, but inside the stadium. The players and staff head to a private function in the Diamond Club, where they eat, drink, and probably argue about who gets the last mini sausage roll. For fans, the parade is the appetiser; the main course is the highlight reel you’ll watch on YouTube later.
In total, the public part of the day lasts about three hours from start to finish, but the parade itself is just a snippet. It’s like the trailer for a movie that you’ve already paid to see. You’re happy, but also slightly hungry and wondering why your feet hurt.
So, if someone asks you, “How long is the Arsenal parade?” just say: “Long enough to get a good buzz, but short enough to make you wish you’d worn better shoes.” And if you miss it? Don’t worry—there’s always next year. Or the year after that. No pressure, Mikel.
