On the bright side, fewer branches mean fewer chances to forget your PIN at the ATM while someone behind you sighs heavily. You know that sigh. It’s the universal sound of “I’ve been standing here for three seconds and I’m already late.”
And hey, maybe Santander will use the savings to upgrade their app. Maybe it will load faster than a sloth on a treadmill. We can dream, right?
But honestly, the biggest loss is the human connection. The teller who waves you over because you look lost. The branch manager who remembers you from last Christmas when you needed a loan for that inflatable Santa. Those people are now digital.
Next week, those 13 branches will go silent. The ATMs will be covered in plastic. The chairs will be empty. It’s a little like that sad moment when your favorite dive bar becomes a juice cleanse place. You’ll miss the sticky floor and the questionable lighting.
So, if your branch is on the list, go say goodbye. Take a selfie with the door. Make it a memory. Then, download the app, buckle up for the drive to the next branch, and remember: banking is like life. It changes, it’s awkward, and sometimes you just have to laugh at the chatbot.
