Believe it or not, these disasters have a peculiar charm. You get to see the UK’s finest roadside art: abandoned shoes, a single glove, and the mysterious “why is there a sofa?” question.
Traffic jams also make you a better person. No, really. Studies show that consistent delays improve your ability to manage stress. You’re essentially doing free therapy while burning diesel.
You’re also building a legendary story for later. “Oh, you think YOUR commute was bad? Let me tell you about the time I saw a man try to parallel park on the hard shoulder.”
What the Experts (and the Pigeons) Are Saying
RAC says to check your route before you leave. But who are we kidding? You checked, saw green on the map, and five minutes later it was a screaming red line of hell. The map lied. It always lies.
Highways England says the delays will last for “several hours.” That means “pack a tent and a good book.” The pigeons have already formed a cooperative society on the central reservation. They’re thriving.
If you’re reading this while stuck on the M25, do not lose hope. Roll down your window. Wave at the person in the BMW who is visibly crying. You are not alone.
This is the M25. It is a circle of asphalt and collective suffering. But it’s our circle. And we’ll all get through it—probably by 10 PM. Or tomorrow morning. Who’s counting?
Stay weird, stay hydrated, and for the love of all that is holy, do not try to overtake on the left. Just stare at the clouds. They’re moving faster than you anyway.
