Every Tuesday, Tesco turns copper into gold, or at least cheap Irish whiskey. They use your shopping data—your love of bargain toilet roll and avocados—to fund this madness. The more you buy, the more they know you’ll be back, lured by the siren song of a £19 litre of whiskey.
I did the maths on a napkin. That £8 saving per bottle means you could technically buy a 1-litre Jameson, pour it over a cheap steak, and it’s still cheaper than a night out. It’s the only financial product where the return on investment involves a gentle warm feeling in your chest.
The "What If" Game You Shouldn't Play
Imagine if everything worked like the Jameson Clubcard price. What if your rent halved because you bought a bag of carrots? "Ah, Mr. Landlord, I have Clubcard points. That’ll be £400 this month, please." It’s beautiful chaos.
Some people will tell you to buy the 70cl bottle instead. Don’t listen to them. Those people also drink flat soda and think pineapple on pizza is a war crime. A litre is the sweet spot—it’s a serious commitment to a good time, yet still fits in your cupboard next to the dusty pasta machine you never use.
