Here is the real reason we care about time. It determines the Octopus Window. You must throw an octopus onto the ice exactly after a goal, not during a timeout.
If the game starts at 7:00 PM, the ideal octopus toss happens around 7:45 PM. Too early, and the ice crew is fresh. Too late, and they’re grumpy and won’t display your cephalopod with dignity.
Timing your seafood-flinging is an art. Get it wrong, and you’re just a guy with a slippery grocery bag.
West Coast Nightmares
If you live in Detroit, playing the Anaheim Ducks is a suffering test. Those games start at 10:00 PM Eastern. For you, that’s a school night.
You will drink caffeine at 9 PM. You will fall asleep during the second intermission. You will wake up to a text from your friend: “We won, 4-2. Larkin scored a hat trick.”
You missed it. Because the puck dropped at what your body believed was midnight. The NHL does not care about your sleep schedule. It wants you to be tired and emotionally fragile.
