Finally, there’s the kicker. This dude is the weird cousin who shows up to the barbecue with a soccer ball and a clipboard. He only plays for three seconds, but everyone’s success hinges on his weirdly specific skill. He kicks the ball, prays it doesn’t hit the goalpost, and then goes back to eating snacks on the sideline.
It’s like having a friend who is only good at wrapping presents for your birthday. You don’t see them all year, but when they show up, you’re oddly relieved. Miss a field goal? The whole team glares at him. Make it? He’s the hero for exactly one commercial break.
So next time you’re at a game and someone yells “cover the flat!” just remember: it’s all just a weird, sweaty version of your work potluck. Everyone has a job, someone is complaining, and if you’re lucky, the kicker doesn’t screw it up.
