Did you know that lobsters have teeth in their stomachs? Yes, a gastric mill—a set of grinding teeth that sit near their mouth. So when you eat lobster, you’re eating an animal that could technically chew its own stomach. Deliciously weird, right?
Also, lobsters are bio-immortal. They don’t age like we do—they just keep molting. But they do eventually get too big to molt, die of exhaustion, or get eaten by us. So when you boil that tail, you’re ending a potential eternity. No pressure.
The Bottom Line
Stop overthinking it. One minute per ounce, ice bath, butter, and you’re a hero. The chart is your friend. Write it on your fridge. Tattoo it on your arm. I won’t judge.
Go forth and boil. Be the lobster whisperer you were meant to be. And if you mess up? That’s what takeout is for. You’re welcome.
