Step one: Open your phone. Step two: Don’t just type “49ers game time” into Google. That shows you the national time, which is Eastern Time. You live on the best coast, so subtract three hours. But wait—Google also shows you your local time if you have location services on. It’s a miracle of modern technology, and it only crashes twice a day.
Better yet, download the official 49ers app. It sends you push notifications that scream, “GAME STARTS IN ONE HOUR!” and then also screams, “JOE MONTANA IS NOW A BRAND OF WINE.” It’s all very chaotic, but it works.
And please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t rely on the neighbor’s flag. He flies a 49ers flag every Sunday, but he also flies it on Tuesday because he’s confused. He’s not a reliable source.
The final, cheeky answer
If you’re reading this article on a game day, the answer is: Right now, it’s probably too late to decide what to wear, but the game is almost certainly at 1:05 PM, 1:25 PM, or 5:20 PM Pacific. If you missed the first quarter, don’t panic. The 49ers usually take a while to warm up anyway. They’re like a slow-cooker full of potential and questionable play calls.
Just remember: Time is a social construct. The 49ers game starts when you’re ready, your snacks are arranged in a perfect triangle, and your remote is charged. If it’s 5:20 PM and you’re still in your pajamas, you’re doing it right. Go Niners.
