If you’re on a budget and just want water that doesn’t kill your plants, tap water is fine (if your town’s not Flint). But if you’re a germaphobe or have a CPAP machine, go with distilled. It’s cheap, simple, and terrifyingly empty.
For drinking, RO water wins unless you want to remineralize your own (yes, that’s a thing—people buy pink salt just to add back what the membrane stole). And don’t even get me started on the “alkaline” trend. That’s a whole other circus.
Here’s the truth: both are safe, both are boring in a hygienic way, and both will keep you alive until you accidentally drink from a hotel sink. But if you want to feel fancy? Buy an RO system, tell your friends it “optimizes cellular hydration,” and watch them nod like you’re a water wizard. Meanwhile, distilled water will sit in the back of your pantry, silently judging your coffee choices.
So next time someone asks, “What’s the diff?” just say: “One boils, the other squeezes. Same result: your tap water’s self-esteem is destroyed.” Then chug a glass of whatever’s cheapest and walk away—you’ve officially out-hydrated everyone.
