Here’s a mind-bender for your next trivia night: Water in a sealed, glass bottle can last for decades. No joke. Scientists have found water trapped in ancient rock formations that’s over a billion years old. Billion. That water is older than trees, dinosaurs, and your breakup playlist combined.
How Long Does Bottled Water Last? Is Bottled Water Safe after Its
So if Grandma left you a glass bottle of spring water from 1987, it’s probably still pristine. Just check the seal. Unless it’s got a spider in it. Spiders in water = instant expiration. That’s science, folks.
Sparkling Water: The Drama Queen
Now, let’s talk bubbly. Carbonated water absolutely goes flat over time. That’s not “going bad” in a dangerous way, but drinking flat sparkling water is like watching a comedian who forgot all his punchlines. Sad, lifeless, and vaguely disappointing. Drink it fresh or don’t bother. The fizz is the whole point.
And if that fizzy water has added flavorings—like lemon or lime—yeah, that does go bad. Those natural flavors mold, and the sugar attracts bacteria. A fizzy lemon water left for six months is basically a biology starter kit. Pour it down the drain, and apologize to your plumbing.
