For many, sex is the backbone of a sentimental relationship. Aside from also being good for your overall health, it helps you stay young and live longer. However, in spite of the therapeutic effects of orgasms, motherhood can pose a great challenge to a woman’s sex life. According to Dr. Andrew Goldstein and Dr. Marianne Brandon, psychologists and authors of the book Reclaiming Desire: 4 Ways to Finding Your Libido, approximately 40 million women in the U.S. report having a low libido and consider this a problem.
It’s common that women with a low libido also experience an unsatisfactory sex life which can adversely affect their relationship. Studies have found a positive association between sexual satisfaction and the quality of that relationship. Moreover, sexual satisfaction is essential for the development and maintenance of love and commitment. Studies have also found that sexual dissatisfaction is a common cause of conflict, infidelity, and divorce among couples.
After solving conflicts within your relationship and ruling out medical conditions that could be affecting your libido try stepping up your sex game. It will not only reap benefits for you, it will strengthen the bond with your partner. If you think that finding time for sex is almost impossible, here are some ideas that can help you.
PUT SEX HIGH ON YOUR TO-DO LIST
Usually, in the middle of the day, I day dream about sex. But at the end of the day, I am too tired to engage in a sexual encounter. Sex seems like another chore in my long to-do list. —Benny W., Flower Mound, TX
As women become increasingly busy juggling work, house, and family obligations, sex tends to drop to the bottom of the to-do list. Sex should not be less important than doing the dishes, vacuuming the floors, or cleaning the house. Drop the Martha Stewart complex. Your house may not be magazine-grade but sex is way more fun, pleasurable, and rewarding than scrubbing floors.
SHARE…HOUSEHOLD CHORES, THAT IS
It is estimated that women spend 18 hours a week doing household chores. If you drop one hour of chores, you have gained an extra one for romantic leisure. Women often don’t delegate the chores because they believe men won’t do them. It may be true, but at the end of the day, what matters is that things got done and that you can both enjoy more playtime in the bedroom.
LOCK YOURSELVES UP TO GET LUCKY
When our kids were toddlers, we used to let them watch TV and run upstairs, lock ourselves in the bedroom or in our walk-in closet and do it. Sometimes we would get interrupted but, even if the session did not end in an orgasm for him or for me, we usually got a good laugh about it. —Carolina M., Ponce, PR
Do your kids enjoy watching TV? Can they play in the yard? Use that time during which kids are glued to the TV to lock yourselves up in the bathroom or bedroom for a “quickie”. A quick sex session can be thrilling and the complicity between you and your husband can serve as a libido booster for later on.
USE TECHNOLOGY AND “SEXT”
My husband and I talk on the phone about how our days are going. We also “sext” during the day. Our steamy messages have us ready for sex at the end of the day. —Vida C., Dallas, TX
Ever heard of “sexting”? It’s not only for dating—sexting can perk up your desire until it’s time to consummate it. You can also sext when both of you are in the house taking care of the kids. This way you can build up sexual desire to be burned later on.
BE SEXY WITH YOUR TIME
Sex dates can be a great way to make time for yourselves. Although it may seem like you’re killing the spontaneity, scheduling a time trains your brain to think about sex more often. Try finding ways to cure sexual boredom by incorporating sensual massages, doing it in the kitchen after the kids go to sleep or even while you are cleaning together. Sexying up laundry time is also highly recommended.
Make sex a priority in your life. You don’t have to be Super Mom or Ms. Organized all the time. Allowing time for sex will make you happier and make your relationship all the stronger.
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