We are declaring Mother’s Day 2012 to be National “Not-my-mama’s Mother’s Day.” Tell your partner to leave the Live, Love, Laugh plaques in the clearance bin at the discount store where they oh-so-rightfully belong. Alert the wee ones that the tongue depressor and yarn frames they made in crafts class won’t cut it this year. Tweet this out, post this link on Facebook, repin like crazy and say it loud, pretty Mama: This Sunday May 13, Mami wants a gift that doesn’t suck!
We know they never forget. But a reminder engraved in metal, wielded on your knuckles never hurt. Boss Lady Double Finger Ring by ManoyMetal ($18).
We hated Mommy & Me Yoga class, too. Here is a mommy & me idea we can get behind: ChaChaCovers Frida Kahlo Nail Decals for adults & kids ($9).
Bouquets with fern leaves and baby’s breath should be banned. Give your kids a lesson in the kind of floral arrangements you really enjoy: the ones that come regularly. Flower Subscriptions by H. Bloom (starting at $29). Available in DC, Chicago, New York & San Francisco.
Irritated by the onslaught of Paris and London-themed decorative pillows, art posters and tea towels that dominate every single home décor store you visit? Opt for an awesome alternative that is a little closer to our roots: Vintage Puerto Rico Map Coasters by Juanitas ($25 for a set of four).
Princess Schmincess. Show your little girl what she should really aspire to. Sterling Silver Diabla Necklace by Julie Vega Jewelry ($65).
No one ever told you to grow a pair. They never had to. But there’s nothing wrong with stating the obvious. Mucho Cojones Water Bottle by—of course!—MuchoCojones ($16).
Would you like some coño with your cojones? Enjoy this Traffic-Cone Tee at Sur Ropa ($19.95).
Because there is no such thing as too spicy. Hot Stuff Chili Peppers Grow Me Kit, at perpetualkid.com ($5.99).
Daily Kegels: That’s right: There’s an app for that. Kegal Camp by Sex With Emily ($1.99).