Sexual escapades, a weekend at a hotel, vacations in an exotic place, a romantic dinner in a fabulous restaurant can all add spark to our libido. However, you don’t have to leave your house to find sexual treasures that will add excitement to your sex life. If you’ve fallen victim to boredom and are thinking about how to spice up your sex life, here are some suggestions of things you can do to turn your home into a sex shrine.
- Sensual or Erotic Massage: A fun and very accessible way to increase your sexual arousal is to engage in a sensual or erotic massage. The goal of a sensual massage is to give and receive pleasure. And better yet, you don’t need to leave your house and spend any money to receive a sensual massage. Moreover, the boundaries of therapeutic massage do not apply, so there is freedom to touch and expose the body as the giver and receiver please. A sensual massage can help you build your arousal and achieve higher levels of sexual enjoyment.
My boyfriend is the best when it comes to giving massages. I am very lucky to have his gifted hands. He makes me relax, massages me in all the right places, and after oiling me up and working every muscle in my body for a good period of time that feels like hours to me, I am fully relaxed. He later takes advantage and turns the massage into an erotic experience that ends with a passionate lovemaking session. I don’t need any more gifts. —Lucía A., San Juan, Puerto Rico
- Sex Games: Sex games are a fun way to add spark to your sex life. There are many games options online or available on sex stores. However, you don’t have to go out of your way to play a fun game. A steamy version of Truth or Dare between you and your partner or borrowing the Twister game from your children can yield to very sexy results. You can also make up your own game with some creativity. Make sure to incorporate some sexy consequences for winning and losing.
That Twister game can be very sexy! I borrow it from the kids and my husband and I lock each other in the bedroom to play it. It makes us laugh and usually we end up having hot sex after playing it for just a few minutes. —Mariana C., San Diego, CA
- A Sex Date: As parents, especially mothers, we tend to put our children’s needs first at all times. However, a balanced and happy mother will serve your children better. If you are married, putting your spouse first (yes, you read that right!) will ensure that your relationship is stable, solid, strong, and able to withstand the challenges of raising a family. Make time for sex, make sex dates with your partner, and make sex and spending time with your partner a priority. If you are a single parent, make time to explore and pleasure yourself through masturbation or test the waters of dating again.
One of the best gifts my husband has given me is to send the kids to his parents’ house for the weekend to spend a weekend in bed. We rest, love, laugh, order take out, and have lots of sex! Usually, we are happier, more relaxed, and more bonded when we pick up the kids. It is a simple gift and doesn’t cost us a dime. But it is one of the gifts that both he and I enjoy the most. —Linda P., Denver, CO
- Try Something New: Take your sex life to a new level. Ask your partner to surprise you with a new sex technique, take your partner to a spot in the house in which you have never had sex before or try masturbating while taking a bath if you haven’t done so before. The possibilities are endless. Just a little imagination can go a long way to improve your sex life and add some spark to an ordinary day or a special day.
- Dine In: We already know that food can do wonders for your sex life. Moreover, chocolate is not only a favorite among sweets lovers, it is also a sexual enhancer. But think outside the box: melt that chocolate and have your partner eat it off of an interesting place in your body (after cooling it down a little, of course) and do the same for you partner. Or prompt your partner to eat that dessert off of your preferred body part and vice-versa. Just one bite can be the start of a steamy sex session.
You don’t have to travel or go far to find ways to make your sex feel revived and anew. Look at your surroundings and use your imagination to create your next sexcapade. Also, remember to use your words and ask for what you want. You may actually get it!
I want to know your opinion. To comment on this topic, leave your comment here. To send private comments, questions, or suggestions, email dr.tanginika@gmail.com.
Great post about home remedies.
Hello Author,
Can you tell me, what is the main reason why married couple becomes cold? Is there a therapy for it?
Thanks,
Adrian
There are a lot of reasons why couples “get cold”, as you expressed. Comfort, the loss of novelty, living in the reality of running a household, the responsibility of child rearing, stressors such as financial worries, etc. are among few of the plethora of reasons why a marriage can lose its “mojo”. Relationships do not happen spontaneously and the expectation that the thrill and heat of the beginning of the relationship will automatically carry on throughout the stress of time during marriage may not be a realistic one. Besides making a concious effort to add spark to the relationship and working on intimacy and enjoying and rediscovering each other on a regular basis, couples therapy is always a good option. There are also couples retreats and sex therapy if the sex is an issue. Individual counseling is also of help. Depending on what you define as “cold”, there are certainly things you can do to revive the flame in your marriage. I would recommend, though, doing that sooner than later before you both fall astray and the situation escalades and turns into a bigger issue. If you need specific recommendations, you can always write me at dr.tanginika@gmail.com. Good luck!
My wife is something like a holy roller is what I call. No imagination in
the bedroom and I’m the one who has to iniate the encounters which
has now become bored to me now. She puts all into mothering seems like.
Any ideas for a remedy? Thxs
You are probably right. Your wife may be putting all her energy into mothering, which certainly takes a lot out of us. Motherhood is usually overwhelming, and the age(s) and quantity of children can put very high and stressful demands on us as women and caregivers. If your wife is too tired because she bares the main responsibility of child rearing, then most likely she will have little energy to initiate sex and to be creative in bed. First, you should have an open, honest, and non-judgmental conversation with her about your concerns, needs and wants and be prepared to hear hers. If she is feeling overwhelmed, sharing the load more equaly and/or getting help may help. Also, bring romance and intimacy into the relationship. Often times, women get frustrated because after a day at work and having to come home to help children with homework, cook, clean, do laundry, etc, etc, etc, men want to “jump their bones” just like that. When women are tired the last thing in their minds is sex. Incorporate massages, baths together, candlelit dinners, have dates (just the two of you), kiss and hug (without sex being a requirement or an outcome, necessarily), and talk, share and be in love. Open communication, romance, time alone, and sharing responsibilities so neither of you feel overwhelmed should do the trick. Good luck!