Although sex may be a topic that is considered taboo for many, among girlfriends sex talk is very common. Women have the ability to open up to other women and disclose our most intimate thoughts, feelings, and experiences, especially with our best friends. Girlfriend talk is open, honest, and often, graphic. Juicy details, steamy experiences, and specifics—such as size, number of sexual partners, wild fantasies, new experiences—are all within the realm of subjects discussed among girlfriends. What are the sexual topics women usually talk about? Here are just a few:
Size: Yes! Women talk about the size, shape, form and more with girlfriends.
When my husband and I started dating, I had to call my best friend and tell her about my first sexual experience with him. I told her everything, including his size! —Diane B., Deerfield, VA
Orgasms: Women talk to other women about their orgasms (whether they reach them or not), the sensations and the first and last time they had one!
I call my best friends and tell them everything about my sex life. They know about my sexual adventures, my sexual frustrations, and my ‘O’ moments. I find it safe to vent with them, and I always get a good set of ears to listen and sometimes useful advice. —Sara V., Miami, FL
Performance: Women talk to other women about the overall performance of their sexual partners (whether they tell their sexual partners or not)!
When I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, the experience was not so great. He called me the next day to ask me if I had told my best friend. I replied, ‘Of course I did!’ Needless to say he made a greater effort the next time we were intimate. —Tamara C., Dallas, TX
Sexual Adventures: Sexcapades, sex in unusual places, new positions and moves, and all stories worthy of Samantha Jones (of Sex and the City) are vividly disclosed among women.
Although my husband and I have been married for a long time and our sex life is great, every once in a while we engage in something different that takes our sex life to a whole new level. I call my best friend to tell her! —Odilia V., Flower Mound, TX
Sexual Fantasies: Women may not tell men about their sexual fantasies. However, girlfriends have the inside scoop on the fantasy scenarios that cross our minds. Some of them, however, are ours to keep.
Likes: Women tell their girlfriends about what they like or would like to have during sex. Where we like to be touched, what time of the day we prefer to have sex, where, and how we like it are good topics of conversation among women.
I love my husband’s anatomy, especially his genitalia. I think he is glorious when he gets undressed! I have told my two best friends how pretty his manhood is. —Evaluna R., Fort Worth, TX
Dislikes: Girlfriends have privileged information on our dislikes during sex. They also have the honest truth on the things that we totally dislike about our partners but that we would never tell them for fear of hurting his feelings (like our dislike for his back hair, for example).
Wishes: If we wish our partner was more romantic, more passionate, stronger, more sensitive, would last longer or would want less sex, our girlfriends know it.
There are many benefits to sharing about sex with friends. According to a study conducted by Harvard University, having a confidante boosts physical functioning and vitality among women. Moreover, open and honest talk with a confidante also can help reduce stress. Women laugh and experience a total feeling of abandonment with close friends. That comfort allows us to be ourselves and to not have to pretend, lie, or hide our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Talking to other women also may help us better understand ourselves, can lead to “aha” moments, and make us feel connected and understood. Many times, women feel as if though their experiences are particular to them, but when they discover that other women feel, think, and behave the same, there is a sense of relief and self-confidence is strengthened. Moreover, women may get useful support, advice, and ideas from other women. Beware, however, that some persons may not be good at offering advice, may not be the right audience to listen to sex-related topics, or may be judgmental. Trust your instincts about with whom you share and how much!
For many years, our culture and society has made us feel as though women are not supposed to be sexual, so, when sharing about your sex life, make sure you do not leave the conversation feeling bad about your sexuality. First, establish that whoever you talk with will respect your privacy. Secondly, determine that your confidante is comfortable talking about sex. Some people, even close friends, are not comfortable with certain topics, so it’s important that whoever you choose to be the recipient of your most intimate details, is willing to listen. Lastly, make certain that you are surrounded by people who are willing to provide a safe space for you without judgment. So next time you are among girlfriends, go ahead: Talk about sex. The results can be very beneficial to your emotional and mental health—and maybe even your sex life!