Masturbation, both the word and the act, stirs up reactions of unease and anxiety in many parents. Especially when it comes to our children, as we don’t like to think of them as sexual creatures. However, they are. So if you catch your child masturbating, don’t worry. Chances are you are not witnessing anything abnormal.
Parents must understand that children are sexual beings. Each child is born with the mechanisms and equipment that will later help him or her preserve the human race. Even young children have sex hormones that are being developed to help them become sex machines. You need to remember that children do not have adults’ preconceived notions about sex. Therefore, they act based on their natural sexual instinct without being influenced by what you consider to be morally acceptable.
Read Related: Masturbation Myths and Truths
MASTURBATION IS NORMAL
Parents also need to understand that masturbation is normal. We expect masturbation to be common among adolescents; however, masturbation among younger children makes parents anxious. Moreover, parents may fail to recognize that masturbatory behaviors in young children are normal and therefore expose them to unnecessary assessments and interventions.
A study found that the median age when children start masturbating is 19.5 months, four times a day. If you see your child masturbating at any given point:
- Be Calm: Do not freak out or act as if the child is doing anything wrong. Do not punish, scold or yell at your child.
- Stress Privacy: If the child is masturbating in public, tell him that he ought to find a private time and place to do so.
- Explain: Talk to your child. Tell him you know what he is doing and that it is totally normal.
SEX EDUCATION IS VITAL
As parents, we should be the number one source of sex information for our children. When parents talk to children about sex, children develop a positive attitude toward this natural process. This helps them buffer the effects of peer pressure to engage in sexual acts later in adolescence. Moreover, studies have shown that sound sex education contributes to delaying adolescents from being sexually active and promiscuous and in teaching them to protect themselves from STDs, STIs and unwanted pregnancies.
Additionally, when children know about sex, they can more easily protect themselves from sexual abuse. The myth of “don’t talk to your children about sex and they won’t do it” puts them at risk of making risky choices that could endanger their life and health. Teaching children “abstinence only” without open and extensive sex information is comparative to not teaching them about sex at all.
Keeping an honest and open dialogue about sex with your children will help all of you trust one another, and enable them to be comfortable coming to you first when they have questions about sex.
I welcome your comments! If you prefer to send your comments privately or for suggestions, email me at dr.tanginika@gmail.com.
