Do you feel you have unmet sexual needs? Do you feel unsatisfied with your sex life? Are you not getting the sex life you would want? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, you may be sexually frustrated. The cause of your sexual frustration can be due to physiological or psychological reasons.
Certain medical conditions can lead to sexual problems. For instance, diabetes, heart disease, hormonal imbalances, menopause, neurological diseases, kidney disease, liver failure, alcoholism and drug abuse. Cancer, chemotherapy, pregnancy, and fatigue may also contribute to a woman’s changes in her overall sex health. Furthermore, some medications, such as antidepressants, may cause sexual side effects.
Stress and anxiety can negatively impact sexual performance. Furthermore, depression, guilt, past sexual trauma, being overly concerned about sexual performance, or problems with your relationship may also negatively affect your sex life.
PHYSICAL & PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS CAN CAUSE:
- Decreased Sexual Desire: Women can experience lack of sexual desire and low or no interest in sex due to physical challenges or limitations. Moreover, boredom and lifestyle factors may also hinder the sexual performance of women.
- Lack of Sexual Arousal: Anxiety may prevent women from getting sexually aroused during sex. Insufficient lubrication of the vagina may also be due to inadequate sexual stimulation prior to having intercourse. Also, problems with the vulva, the vagina, and the clitoris may lead to the inability to feel sexually aroused.
- Inability to Orgasm: Known as anorgasmia, this is a lack of orgasm or the inability to reach sexual climax. According to the Mayo Clinic, many women suffer from anorgasmia. Fewer than a third of women consistently reach orgasms during intercourse. There can be many causes to anorgasmia in women. Hormonal changes, medical issues, medications, religious beliefs, marital problems, lack of physical attraction to your sexual partner, among others, may cause anorgasmia.
- Painful Intercourse: Conditions such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts, STDs, the presence of scar tissue, vaginitis , vaginismus, may lead to painful sex, thus causing sexual frustration.
NOT GETTING ENOUGH?
I get frustrated when I don’t have enough sex. —Odilia V., Chicago, IL
Not reaching an orgasm frustrates me, a lot, especially if he reaches it and I’m left hanging. —Keira B., Dallas, TX
Sometimes I feel I lost my mojo. It frustrates me that I don’t want sex as often as I used to. I am not sure if it’s hormones or monotony, but I want to find my mojo again! —Virginia B., Flower Mound, TX
Sexual frustration can also happen when there is a disparity between the sexual needs of both partners. For instance, one sexual partner may think that their sexual life is adequate, while the other may think that their sexual life is lacking. The sexual drive of both partners may not be in sync due to the reasons previously explained or the natural sex drive of each individual within the relationship. Patricia Love, marriage and family therapist and author of Hot Monogamy, says that both men and women can experience sex frustration due to the levels of sexual drive of each partner. The generalized assumption that men want sex more than women is not necessarily true. Moreover, when women want sex more often than men, both men and women may feel embarrassed. Also, the frustration of not getting the sex they want impacts the perception of women about their bodies and attractiveness, according to sex therapist Dr. Louanne Cole Weston.
WHAT TO DO?
- Consult Your Physician: If your sexual frustration comes from medical reasons, your physician can help. If the causes are psychological, your physician may recommend psychological or sexual therapy.
- Communication is Key: Do not keep your partner in the dark. If you need more sexual arousal prior to penetration in order to enjoy a more fulfilling sex life, do not be afraid to speak up. Tell your partner what you need and be open and honest about it.
- Think Positively: If you think you will not enjoy sex, most likely you will not. Change your thoughts and the response of your body may change too.
If you are sexually frustrated, there may be a solution within reach. Do not settle. Sexual enjoyment and fulfillment is your right and your responsibility.
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